When Siblings Fight, Teach Healthy Ways
to Handle Conflict
With
winter’s cold, snowy weather, children will be spending more time indoors with
their brothers and sisters. Sometimes this forced closeness may cause an
increase in disagreements, arguments and all-out fights. However, with good
parent modeling, ground rules and a little help, children can learn to deal with
conflict in healthy ways, said Lori
Hayungs a family life program specialist with Iowa State University Extension
and Outreach.
Hayungs suggests parents use the
following tips to cope with sibling conflict:
·
Work
with children to establish some family rules for safety, such as, hitting and name-calling
are not acceptable.
·
Let
children settle their own differences when possible. When children need
guidance or the situation is at a stalemate, offer some suggestions or choices
for compromise.
·
Set
a good example. If parents model good ways to deal with conflict, children will
use the same skills. If parents do lose their cool, admit it and talk about
what could have been done differently.
·
Individual
attention can reduce sibling rivalries. Let the children know how they are
special to you as a parent.
·
Children
can learn empathy. Teach children to listen to the thoughts and feeling of
others and repeat them so others know they heard correctly. This way they learn
to appreciate someone else’s point of view.
·
Change
the mood. Stop what you are doing and spend some time with the children to
assess their needs. Playing some soothing music or reading a story may help
young children get past the angry feelings.
“It
is normal to disagree with someone when there are strong feelings, and children
are no exception,” Hayungs
said. “Parents
can help children learn about wants and needs of others, how to talk calmly
through a disagreement and how to compromise. These skills will benefit your children
for their lifetime.”
For
more information on how to deal with sibling fights, look for these ISU
Extension and Outreach publications from the online store, https://store.extension.iastate.edu/:
·
Sibling
Fights – Getting Along, PM 1651 (free download)
·
Things to
Do When I Am Angry, PM 2075 ($3.25)
·
When I’m
Angry, PM 1653 (free download)
·
Sibling
Rivalry, PM 1529I (free download)
